Sex can be a sore topic for some people. It is you getting together on a very basic and primal levels and feeling undesired at this point can be very triggering.
While some people don’t care much if they are bad in bed, as long as they are getting satisfied, but this kind of selfish attitude is not only unfair, but it is also not sustainable.
For some, especially men, the problem with being bad in bed in not because of their own fault, but due to medical problems that then require the help of the best sexologist in Lahore.
However, with sex, there is nothing unachievable. There is nothing abstract; it is a matter of learning and putting in enough effort. It is essentially very physical in nature, and just like with any exercise, you give it its due to get better at it.
The key lies in realizing that you are not the god in bed that you made yourself out to be; your poor partner might also have to fake it.
Are you bad in bed?
Knowing if you are bad is bed is important for you to remedy the situation. The onus does not lie entirely on your shoulders and finding a party to blame is also very unconstructive.
A better and a more helpful approach is realizing if you are bad in bed, or rather, if your sexual experiences rate a mere eh, and then taking steps to change the situation. Signs that you might be struggling in bed include:
You, or your partner, don’t like it
A big, blazing indicator of you –or your chemistry with your partner –not measuring up is you not liking sex. However, it can so happen that even though you get your climax and pleasure out of it, your partner doesn’t.
Know that sex is about both parties enjoying it; it’s not a solo ride.
You are uncomfortable with your body
A particular kind of body image has been shoved down our throats, thanks to media. Women have to be thin and voluptuous; men have to be buff. But that’s not all of us. What we see on television is mostly aspirational.
Then, when you see your body with the flab and the flaws, you consider yourself undesired and ugly. And as sex is about being vulnerable, you then feel uncomfortable during the entire episode. The self-consciousness prevents you from enjoying it, and you get through it as if getting a root canal. This naturally also prevents you from being good in bed as well.
You feel ashamed of sex
Not feeling confident in your sexuality can also make having sex awkward instead of pleasurable. You then not only don’t enjoy it yourself, but it also prevents you from giving pleasure.
There are many reasons for this; at times, the societal pressure prevents you from voicing your needs. Any woman who desires sex is then considered brazen and promiscuous.
Similarly, lack of familiarity with your own body, knowledge about anatomy, the taboo nature of sex, all can get in the way of you and pleasure.
You have mental health issues
Performance anxiety and stress of having sex can also then make one bad in bed. When there is so much noise in the head, execution becomes harder.
So, what to do now?
If you think you can relate to the signs of being bad in bed, then don’t panic. That’s not going to help. Instead, think of strategizing to remedy the situation.
You can talk to your partner about things that you both might be doing wrong. Try to work out so that you are physically more active. Work in improving your self-esteem levels.
If your mental health is getting in the way, then seek help of a counselor. Similarly, you may also consult a credible specialist like Dr. Ali Haider Khowaja for to help with this matter.